eFootball’s patch notes are a thing of horrifying beauty • Eurogamer.net

Konami released the first patch for eFootball today after its disastrous launch – and it shows why the game should never have been released in the first place.

V0.9.1 is now available for eFootball on PC, PlayStation and Xbox, and Konami has released the patch notes. They make for remarkable reading, sometimes hilarious, sometimes horrible.

There is a long list of fixes for some of the bugs reported by players – and Eurogamer highlighted – when launching eFootball. For example, there is this one:

Some players are shown as a floating costume, or disappear completely, in the pre-match cutscene.MDR
of r / WEPES

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EFootball’s pre-game cutscenes clearly had a lot of issues. There is a fix for this gem:

Field grass is not shown in three dimensions during the pre-match cutscene.

And I really want to know more about the “wrong image” that Konami mentions that it eradicated:

Some billboards located around the field may display the wrong image.

The further we get through the patch notes, the more nightmarish eFootball becomes:

The referee may be shown to be trapped on the surface of the pitch during a match. Players (other than the setter kick taker) may run through billboards and out of bounds during a corner kick. The set piece shooter may grab the set piece. ball in his hands when he is about to kick it during a corner kick.Is it a bird? Is it an airplane? No, it’s the referee in EFootball
of r / WEPES

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This following issue only occurred while checking Timo Werner (it’s a joke):

The player can miss the ball completely when trying to shoot.

eFootball needed goal line technology:

If the ball is cleared just as it crosses the goal line into the goal, it may incorrectly be considered not to have entered.

The nightmare continues:

Some players may suddenly disappear during a match. The referee and players can start sliding in slow motion before kick-off. Players can get caught in the goal net during a goal celebration near the goal.New feature;)
of r / WEPES

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eFootball has been blasted for its hilarious player faces. In fact, the game has gone viral for it, as images of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo unspeakably contorting their mouths have been shared on social media.

So, we have a fix for this:

A facial animation bug can cause player expressions to appear unnatural.

I love the language of the facts in these patch notes:

Player graphics may not display correctly, making them look odd. Some players may be shown sliding on the floor during a replay. This movement is different from the actual movement that occurred during the game.Sergino got bored of this BS. He brings his talents to Konoha.
of r / WEPES

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The patch notes end with a separate list of improvements to some issues, but Konami warns that they can still happen occasionally, which is a bit of a concern. Konami adds that it is currently developing fixes for these issues, but as the company says, they can still appear.

And it’s this list of problems that I think is my favorite of all. I’ll just make them appear below without comment. They speak for themselves:

Some players can be shown slipping on the floor during a match. Players can run in a strange way during the goal celebration. Player models may be distorted and their movements may appear abnormal when colliding. some games that were clearly fouls. The ball can pass through a player’s body during a match. Responsiveness to controls may become slower during matches. The speed of the ball and the movement of the player may decrease during games.Do you even defend like a bulldozer brother?
of r / WEPES

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This morning, Konami has taken the drastic decision to postpone the launch of eFootball until next year. It also withdrew eFootball’s controversial Premium Player Pack from sale, with all pre-orders automatically refunded.

By reading these patch notes, it’s easy to see why. If for some reason you are still playing eFootball, stay safe!